


Lessons of Family

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-05-26
Updated: 2001-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-30 13:39:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15097784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: CJ and Danny must confront obstacles in their lives.





	Lessons of Family

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Title: The CJ and Danny Chronicles Part II: The Lessons of Family

Author: Loquita

Rating: R

Category: CJ/Danny

Summary: CJ and Danny have been dating for a short time. Now they must confront obstacles in their lives that test their belief in the strength of love and family.

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to The West Wing or to any of the characters, richer people than me own those rights. I have no desire to make money from this. I only hope that others find some enjoyment from my story, which is payment enough.

*****

The CJ and Danny Chronicles Part II: The Lessons of Family

The doorbell rang. CJ opened the door to her apartment and used it to block herself from Danny's view as he entered. He stepped inside and noticed all the lights were off and a candle on the entry table was lit. She swung the door shut, revealing she was wearing a gold glittering negligee that dipped very low in front and had a slit up the side to her hip.

"Well hello, Sex Kitten." Danny said and gave her a dazzling smile. She rolled her eyes at his silliness. 

 

"I'm seducing you." She informed in a voice similar to the one used in explaining the President's stand on trade with China. 

"Thanks for the warning." He chuckled and stepped closer to her.  


"I'm just telling you 'cuz I've never done this before."

"That," he pointed to the negligee, "is a good start." He put his arms around her waist. "Why, exactly? Did I win some contest?"

She could tell by his teasing tone and the twinkle in his eye that he knew why. He just wanted to hear her say it. He was still rambling on, "Or maybe I'm dreaming, I should pinch myself." He pinched her butt instead.

"Hey, that's me you're pinching."

"Oh, but it's such a cute ass." He moved his hands up her bare back. 

She thought, 'here I try to have a nice, romantic evening and as usual, he keeps joking and teasing and somehow in the middle of it, lures me into the bedroom. It was not going to happen that way tonight, 'CJ on a mission' is taking charge.'

"Six months ago today, you asked me out." She began to explain to the pretending-to-be-forgetful Danny.

"CJ, I asked you out half a million times, we're not celebrating the anniversary of all of them. We're celebrating that six months ago you finally said yes."

"If you knew than why did you ask?"

"Habit, I do it all day at work. But I get to hear a sexy woman give me the answer so I ask anyway." She gave in and laughed at him, it was what he'd been trying to do since he came in anyway. He kissed her lips, then on the cheek. She put her hand on his chest.

"I'm supposed to do this." She reminded him.

"What?"

"Danny, I have a plan."

"Oh, Lord help us, she's got a plan." His eyes looked toward the sky as he spoke and she giggled.

"Stop it."

"Okay, okay." He gave in. "What's the plan?"

"Get out of your clothes."

"I have to say, I like the plan so far." He followed her to her bedroom, removing his shirt as he went. She turned and unbuttoned his pants and he stepped out of them.

"In here, Fishboy." She walked into the master bathroom and he followed.

"You know, I don't think I like you calling me 'Fishboy' when we're about to fool around together." She raised an eyebrow at his comment. It was then he noticed the room. Candles everywhere, the sink, the floor, and the ledge by the tub. And her bathtub, an old, claw-foot iron tub, now filled with fragrant bubbly water. He looked between it and her a few times. A smirk appeared, "I get to watch you take a bath?"

"Other way around. 'Fishboy' makes some sense now, huh?"

"CJ?" He looked a little nervous.

"Get in." She demanded. It was not like her to give orders, at least when it came to the intimate side of their relationship. So, he figured it was best to obey. He slid under the water. For a while, it remained pretty innocent. She knelt behind the tub and massaged his shoulders then began to wash his hair.

"You do not get to cut it." He informed her as she applied conditioner and massaged his scalp. "Your plan better not include relaxing me so much that I allow you to get scissors anywhere near my head. Make that anywhere near me at all."

"Yeah, yeah." She replied. "Scissors wouldn't work anyway, I'd need a mower for this hair." She kissed his shoulder. "I actually like it when it's a little longer, it gets even curlier." 

After his hair was rinsed, the important part of CJ's plan was next. She took a deep breath trying to gain her composure, forcing herself not to think about Danny being wet and naked in front of her. She put some Dove liquid soap on her puff and began to wash him, shoulders, back, arms, legs... It only took about a minute and a half for him to last the tortuous movements of her hands over his body and she was pulled into the water with him. Straddling him on top, they made love slowly. Even after months together Danny couldn't quite believe they were together like this, that his touch would make her shiver with desire. CJ was still surprised each time at how natural and beautiful it felt to be with him. After, she cuddled on his chest with his arms and legs wrapped around her. Eventually, the water grew cold and they moved into the bedroom.

He insisted that Elizabeth Dole called Bob Dole "fishboy' so much that it eventually led to his current problem. She laughed, "Not true." 

"It is true," He kissed her forehead, "I love your laugh."

"I love you too, Fishboy." 

"Oh," He made a mock face of shock and fear, "You like old men on viagra or something?"

"I am dating you..." She smiled and he glared. "OK, OK, OK, I'll think of a new name for you."

"How about Honey? Or Sweetheart?" He tried.

"Your name has to be unique." She explained as they got settled under the warm blankets of CJ's bed.

"Goodnight, HONEY." He said and she kissed him.

"Goodnight..." CJ paused, thinking.

"Oh, just go to sleep," he said flatly. Then in a softer voice added, "Thank you for tonight. You've got this seduction thing down."

"Yeah, right." She put her arm around him and laid her head on his chest, already halfway to her dreams.

The next morning being Sunday, they usually got to sleep and get into work a few hours later than the rest of the week. In separate cars of course. But today, CJ's sister was arriving at the airport and CJ was up early, making coffee and straitening the apartment. 

Sarah Cregg Parker would be in town for two weeks for a medical conference and would be staying with CJ. She was CJ's younger sister by three years and the golden child of the Cregg family. Their older sister, Megan lived in San Francisco and ranked a close second in their parent's eyes. Middle CJ was always the 'Problem.' CJ had gone through a punk stage in high school. CJ went to Berkley instead of the "only University the Cregg's should attend" according to their father. CJ had never married and left California for Washington.

Sarah was shorter than her older sisters at 5'7" and was then only blonde in the family. Instead of a punk stage, she was a varsity Tennis player in high school who won the State Championship her senior year. Instead of rebelling and going to Berkeley, she did as expected and got straight A's at Stanford. Sarah became a successful Oncologist, married her college sweetheart, Chad Parker and they lived in a house in Malibu. 

But it was hard for CJ to hate her little sister. She had the Cregg family infectious laugh, loved to shop, eat chocolate and watch football. Sarah was the only one in the family who never judged CJ. Instead she encouraged her to follow her heart. CJ was the one person who knew Sarah wasn't perfect, knew her secrets and flaws and loved her just the same. She was, however, a little concerned, Sarah had been so insistent about visiting that it made alarm bells go off in her brain, like there might be something wrong that had to be discussed.

It was lost in these thoughts that CJ finished wiping down the kitchen counters and heard Danny waking up in the bedroom.

"Hey, where'd my Princess go?" The Prince demanded. CJ entered the room and watched Danny prop himself up on one elbow.

"She left. You're stuck with me."

"Well, OK. Com're then." He patted the bed.

"I don't have time this morning. My sister's flight comes in at 9 and I have to pick her up." She explained.

"Wouldn't she want you to be glowing when you met her?" He wagged his eyebrows and patted the bed again.

"I made coffee." She tried to forget that his idea was better than hers was. He got out of bed and followed her into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and took out eggs and bacon then found a pan. CJ was in the living room dusting and using a roll-thing to pick up Cleo's cat hair off the couch and chairs. He smiled at her neurotic behavior.

"CJ, this place is always immaculate. Plus she's your sister, I doubt she's gonna care."

"If it were Megan visiting, she'd go home with a full report to my mother about the state of this place. I want it to be nice for Sarah because she won't care."

"You have no logic what so ever." He pointed out as he fried the bacon. 

"I was thinking the three of us could go to dinner on Friday." CJ changed the subject.

"OK." Danny took a sip from his coffee as the bacon bubbled. "You know, CJ, I don't want to intrude. You spend time with your sister when she's here, don't worry about me I'll find something to keep me busy for two weeks."

"Yeah? You could talk to Sam about finding you that 'something'." 

"You know what I mean. You don't have a lot of free time, while she's here you should spend it with her. I'll still be here when she goes home." Danny took the bacon out of the pan and cracked two eggs into it. CJ entered the kitchen, put her hands on his cheeks and gave him a deep, tongue-filled kiss.

"What was that for?"

"Being a Prince." She said and poured herself more coffee. "I still want you to come out with us Friday. I want you two to get to know each other."

"OK." They ate breakfast and after Danny went into work, CJ showered, changed and left for the airport.

She stood at the gate watching people stream out of the tunnel from the plane. Sarah appeared wearing a linen pants suit and carrying a bag. Her long hair was pulled back and her gray eyes searched the waiting crowd for CJ.

"Sarah." CJ called and her sister hurried toward her, dropped the bag, and they threw their arms around each other.

"Oh Claudia, it's so good to see you." Sarah said as they walked through the airport to baggage claim.

"It's good to have you here. I know you've got to check-in today but you'll have some time tomorrow to see my office, right?"

"Yes." Sarah smiled at her.

"What?"

"You say 'office' like it isn't the most famous one in the whole country." Sarah and CJ talked about which monuments to see and shopping they could do and before they could finish that lengthy conversation, the car was in front of the conference center.

"I'll pick you up at 8 tonight, right here?" CJ asked.

"Yep." Sarah reached across and hugged her. "I can't wait, we're going to have so much fun."

On Monday, Sarah got up early with CJ and rode to the White House with her. They went through security and got a visitors pass. It was early and only half the staff had arrived but the West Wing was already loud and busy. CJ showed her the bullpen, the Roosevelt room, her own office, and the pressroom. 

"It looks bigger on TV." Sarah walked up to the podium and said to the empty chairs, "Yes, I do have a Sears Tower for a sister. Next question please?"

"Very funny. Come on, I want you to met Leo and Toby."

"I was talking about Megan." She teased as they traveled the halls. They returned to CJ's office to find Josh and Sam waiting.

"We heard you sister was visiting." Sam explained.

"She's happily married, you piranhas." CJ answered.

"Hello, I'm Sarah." She ginned and shook their hands.

"Josh and Sam." CJ introduced. There was a knock, a bewildered Danny stood at the doorway of CJ's crowded office.

"I can come back." He said.

"No, wait." CJ stopped him for leaving. "Danny, I want you to meet my sister." Sarah, who was hidden behind Sam, shot up at hearing the name CJ just used.

"Danny?" She asked moving to the doorway. Shaking his hand while looking him over she added, "It is very nice to meet you indeed." Josh and Sam tried to hold in their laughter at Sarah's enthusiasm and CJ's embarrassment. 

Danny was thrown by everything. "Nice to meet you too. I'll catch up with you later, CJ." He said before making a fast exit.

"I'm sure he will." Sarah spoke suggestively and the boys let their laughter out full strength.

"OK, Bert and Ernie." CJ pulled them out her office by their ears. "See you later." She closed the door and faced Sarah.

"Please, please, please be careful. It could cause problems for both of us."

"OK." Sarah shrugged. "He is pretty cute." CJ tried to hold back a smile.

On Friday, CJ left work early and took Sarah to a pub in Georgetown. They nibbled on appetizers and Sarah had a beer, chatting about home while waiting for Danny to join them once his column was written.

He entered and took a minute to study them from a distance. No doubt Sarah was beautiful in the typical sense, blond hair and all. But there was something about the taller, older sister that gave her an edge in his opinion. CJ had some mystery and classic grace about her beauty. Just seeing her across a room made him smile, made his heartbeat faster, and his whole body feel alive. He wasn't sure what he'd done to deserve it, but somehow CJ had become his life.

"OK, I want the dirt on one Claudia Jean Cregg." Danny joked as he took a seat across from them.

"No way." CJ warned.

"We'll talk later." Sarah told him and winked. They placed a dinner order and their conversation drifted from Sarah's conference to stories from their childhood. Sarah excused herself from the table when she spotted some colleagues from the conference sitting at the bar.

"I've been trying to track down Dr. Caper since I got here, excuse me a minute." She explained.

"She's great." He told CJ once they were alone.

"She's also stolen a few guys away from me before. Don't get any ideas." CJ's tone was joking but Danny could tell by her eyes that some pain was buried as well. Once in a while her doubts still came out. He leaned into her, "My heart is already taken and I think it's permanent." His voice dropped, "I've missed you." It worked; CJ smiled and was back to herself instantly.

"OK, Romeo." She shook her head and changed the subject. "How'd the column go? You took a while on it."

"Sorry. It actually wasn't the column that kept me. My mom called to tell me she's having some tests done but wouldn't say what... you know what, never mind, I don't want to talk about this now."

"OK." CJ took a bite of a potato skin.

"And for the record, I got a lot of the column written during the 3 PM briefing."

"Danny!" She gasped, "It wasn't that long."

"Honey, I love you but sometimes you hold long pointless press briefings." He stole the second half of the potato skin from her hand and shoved it in his mouth. She rolled her eyes at him.

Sarah chatted with her colleagues but mostly kept her eyes on CJ and Danny. This was just an excuse to observe them anyway.

Sarah watched Danny lean into CJ and speak softly. Her sister came alive and glowed with joy and love. Here they were in a bar with a few dozen rich doctors and CJ only had eyes for one man. Sarah observed Danny obviously trying to get CJ to smile. When she did, he looked like a man who had just discovered a lake in the middle of a desert he'd been lost in for weeks. 

'His joy came from making her happy and she doesn't even notice anyone else is in the room.' Sarah concluded and not for the first time in her life, felt jealous of her sister.

CJ wasn't handed things in life, she worked hard to achieve them. It seemed, once again, another one of life's goals could be crossed off CJ's list. She found love. Sarah wondered if CJ even realized how rare and special a love like this was to find...and more importantly keep. 'Maybe I should tell her the whole twisted tale?' Sarah considered while making her way back to their table.

The next day, CJ took the afternoon off so she and Sarah could go shopping together. After 3 hours they'd made it through 4 stores.

"Cappuccino?" CJ suggested as they passed a stand. They sat at one of the tables sipping coffee and reviewing their purchases so far.

"I can't believe what you convinced me to buy." CJ shook her head at the loss of her usual good sense.

"It's fun to splurge sometimes. Plus, I know Danny will appreciate it, red is your color."

"We're not talking about a suit or a dress here, were talking about underwear." CJ spoke too loud and caused an old woman a table over to give them a glance. She lowered her voice, "Who cares what color it is? Besides, I already tried the sexy lingerie thing with him."

"Ohhh, do tell." Sarah prompted her.

"Let's just say we ended up in a discussion of Bob Dole and viagra." CJ sipped her coffee while Sarah giggled.

"CJ, I think you should marry him." 

CJ's coffee nearly went up her nose, "what?" She recovered and gave Sarah her best stern-big-sister look. "You are beginning to sound dangerously close to someone we call Mom."

"You're angry." Sarah observed.

"You've never done that to me. You've always told me to wait until it was right, until I'd met the man I was supposed to be with."

"Exactly." 

CJ was stunned to silence. They sat drinking their coffee and watching shoppers go past without saying a word for several minutes. Finally CJ spoke, "We've never talked about it."

"Why not?"

CJ sighed and tried to explain, "It's safer to let things stay the way they are now. We're together and happy and we don't have to deal with everyone knowing about us."

"That doesn't sound like you, to play things safe instead of going after what you want."

"But now the stakes are higher, Sarah. What if I tell him and he doesn't want to get married? What if he doesn't want a wife and kids and that whole normal domestic scene? Lots of people don't."

"He probably hasn't asked you because he's afraid you don't want the 'whole domestic scene.' Just tell him you'll say yes when he asks."

"I am not doing that. Plus, imagine what the President would say if I walked into the Oval Office and announced I was marrying a reporter."

Sarah raised an eyebrow, "You know, it is just so common for couples to have that exact problem."

"Stop it."

"OK." Sarah said, "I just want you to marry the right person. I don't want you to pass it up like I did." She sighed and decided to finally admit all her horrible mistakes and maybe teach CJ a lesson. "Remember in college when you took me to the clinic to-"

"Yes." CJ interrupted, not wanting the old woman nearby to hear the word 'abortion' in the same conversation as the red underwear.

"I never told you how...Well, Chad was gone that semester and I met a wonderful, kind man whom I was falling in love with. When I found out I was pregnant I had a choice to make. I could do what you would have had the courage to do, you would not have cared what people said or thought and married the man you loved. 

But I didn't, I chickened out like I always have. I broke up with the man I loved without ever telling him I was pregnant. You drove me to the clinic and took care of me afterwards. And I never told anyone, including Chad. When he returned from his semester abroad we were married like both our parents wanted. 

I have always been jealous of you CJ, your courage and strength. I wish I had even a little bit of that courage. Maybe things wouldn't have ended up this way." Sarah sighed and stared out the windows of the café for a moment. When she spoke again her voice was on the edge of breaking.

"Chad wants a divorce."

CJ was so astonished, she was surprised at her ability to speak, "Oh, Sarah, no."

"It's OK. We've drifted apart over the years but now he's found someone else."

"What can I do?" CJ wanted to fix it and make it better like she would when Sarah fell off her bike or fought with neighborhood kids. But her little sister wasn't 6 years old anymore.

"Don't do what I did. Hold on strong to Danny and don't let go no matter what happens or how hard it gets." Sarah struggled to hold back tears and CJ reached over to hug her. 

"I'm so sorry." CJ whispered in her ear.

"It's OK," Sarah pulled back and took a deep breath, "It'll be OK. Please, let's talk about something more upbeat. How about shoe shopping next?"

A week later Sarah boarded a plane promising to call CJ when she got home. Danny and CJ headed back through the airport to the car.

"Did you two have a nice visit?" He asked.

"I was good to see her and talk like we did as kids. But I missed seeing you over the last two weeks."

"You saw me at work." Danny pointed out.

"Not what I meant." CJ smiled at him, "My place?"

"Do I get a bubble bath again?" Danny teased her.

"No, but Sarah made me buy some lacey red underwear." Danny's eyes widened and she said, "I could model them for you."

"Did I tell you how much I love your sister?" 

Five weeks later, CJ sat in her office rubbing her temples. She was having a bad day. Members of the press were pushing for details on a secret military operation underway near the coast of Cuba. Leo was pissed at her for missing the meeting with cheese producers or some stupid Wisconsin lobby group. And then there was the other predicament. The little problem she noticed a few days ago and as the days were passing she realized was becoming more like a gigantic problem. She was late. 

She was nearly two weeks late now and she'd never been more than a day late since she was about 16 or 17. For the present time, she was pushing the idea to the back of her brain and trying not to process it. That would mean having to face a million questions and worries she wasn't ready for. CJ picked up the phone and yanked the number of her doctor from the Rolodex. After making an appointment for tomorrow she put her head on her desk and tried to think about Navy planes and Wisconsin cheese.

Danny sat at his workstation in the press corps area of the West Wing punching at the keys on his laptop. It was a random Thursday morning like any other. CJ had finished the 9 AM briefing and he probably wouldn't see her privately all day due to the military story in the works. He hated days like this when their contact was off limits, he much preferred to surprise her in her office with a silly conversation at least once a day. They had a date tomorrow night, so he would have to pass the time looking forward to it. The phone next to him rang and it forced Danny to stop his daydreams and answer it. 

"Concannon here." He listened to the voice on the other end for only a minute. Then he hung up slowly, shut off his computer, took his coat and left the White House.

A half-hour later, Carol knocked at CJ's door. 

"Josh wants you to go with him to a meeting." Carol pushed open the half-closed door to CJ's office, "he said you would know..." CJ was laying on her desk sleeping. Carol approached her and shook her shoulder, "CJ." As she woke and shook her head Carol looked at her concerned. "Are you OK, maybe you've got that flu that's going around?" CJ got her bearings and realized she'd fallen asleep in her office, the most unprofessional thing she could manage to do. Well, second to dating a member of the press, she was on a roll. Carol was still looking at her like a Grandmother ready to feed her chicken soup.

"No, Carol, I'm fine I was just up all night going over reports from the Navy about the pilot in Cuba, that's all." CJ lied and hoped that Carol didn't notice her stumbling over the story.

"Are you sure you are not feeling sick?" Carol attempted.

"No, but you know what, I have a check-up tomorrow with my doctor. I'll make sure to have her look in my ears and down my throat and give me a lollipop if I behave." 

Carol smiled, "You seem perfectly fine now. You and Josh have a meeting?" 

"Yep." CJ replied. She took the files from Carol's hands then headed down the hall to catch up with Josh.

The day was full of meetings, phone calls, and annoying briefings. The press were still hounding her, even though they knew she couldn't give them any information yet. She noticed that Danny wasn't in the room at the 2 PM or 6 PM briefings. She wondered why he didn't bother letting her know he wouldn't be there. It wasn't like him. Quite the opposite, his sensitive, thoughtful nature was why she couldn't resist him. 

After putting the lid on and weaving her way back to her office, thoughts she'd been avoiding started to break through. 'Things are so good between us, what was going to happen now that there were serious consequences to the relationship...STOP.' She mentally yelled at herself. She had to keep forcing herself not to start doing this, at least until she saw the doctor and was sure. 

CJ went home early, around 9 PM and opened her door to a dark apartment. There were no messages on the machine. She realized she was expecting Danny to surprise her at home or at the very least, called to let her know why he was missing. She always took these gestures for granted, they were just part of his personality. But now without his thoughtfulness, she was getting annoyed with him. 

Her mind stopped wandering when her stomach turned. CJ stood in her living room with a look of horror on her face. She hadn't eaten anything yet and instead of being hungry her stomach was feeling very- her hand flew to cover her mouth as she dashed through the apartment to her bathroom and found the toilet bowl just in time. She sat back against the tub when she was done and let the tears fall for almost 20 minutes. It was becoming harder to pretend or make excuses, she knew what the doctor would find tomorrow. 

After eating a bland dinner of rice and chicken, CJ curled up on the couch and turned the TV on, trying to distract herself with an old movie. Thoughts still found their way past her defenses. Her sister must be psychic, the conversation they had over a month ago entered her mind. She had told CJ not make the same choices she had. Could she be as brave and strong as her sister had insisted?

CJ wasn't sure how Danny was going to react to the news. Would he be angry with her? She counted her pills yesterday morning, she skipped two sometime this month. God, how stupid was she? Her crazy schedule was no excuse for not taking birth control seriously. Danny could very well blame her for this. He had trusted her. 

If he didn't want the baby, maybe he would break up with her. It would be awful to see him each day. Early in their relationship she had been afraid of getting hurt, that seemed so long ago, she had learned to totally trust him and love him. But something like this could tear them apart even if they loved each other.

He could, out of obligation, offer to marry her. Would she agree to that? Six weeks ago she told Sarah it was the one thing she wanted in life, to marry him and have a family. This was not exactly what she had in mind during that conversation. She was afraid even then to tell Danny she wanted to marry him, now, she was down right scared. He might question her reasons for wanting to do it.

The other fear was their jobs. It had been so easy to hide things, now it would be as obvious as her bulging abdomen. What would they think of her? 'I'm going to get fired. No, maybe that's against the law?' She considered asking Sam, but then that would mean having to tell him why she wanted to know if a pregnant unmarried woman could be fired from working at the White House.

She was going to have to tell Danny soon. This thought made her remember his absence today. 'What the hell was wrong with him, running off and not even a phone call to explain?' She was once so independent that she never cared if a guy she was seeing didn't call her. Now, her whole world revolved around him. She needed him, maybe now more than ever before, and he was missing. Her heart was sinking lower as these thoughts made her feel lost. 

'The whole thing is such a mess.' This was her last thought before drifting off to sleep on her couch with Jay Leno on in the background.

On Friday morning, CJ went to the doctor's office early and blood was taken. She was told the results would be back before the end of the day. She went into work and tried to shuffle papers on her desk but every time the phone rang she would panic. Once again, Danny wasn't at any of her briefings and her annoyance was turning into worry. At noon, she called his house thinking he might have come down with the flu. But there was no answer. By 3:30 PM, she considered having Carol call his paper to find out if they had assigned him on a story somewhere. But she reasoned the paper would have sent a substitute to her press conferences. There was no one new in the room.

The staff meeting late in the day revealed that Leo was no longer pissed at her. Apparently the Wisconsin people hated California's wine country for some involved reason he didn't go into. Since she was from Napa that meant she was an enemy. So having Josh go in her place yesterday had turned out to be a good thing. The President was spouting statistics on the Notre Dame/ Purdue series through out football history. Apparently, that was the game being played tomorrow and was much more important than the Cuba situation to him. Toby was distracted with Sam's inability to write a speech for the International Relations Meeting the President would be attending. The whole room was being very self-absorbed and CJ was no different. 

As Leo wrapped things up, and Sam and the President were comparing the Irish and the Boilermaker's Special Teams, CJ excused herself from the room. She was feeling feverish and her stomach was lurching. She headed to the cafeteria and got a bagel and cream cheese and an ice tea and carried it back to her office to eat before she repeated last night's performance in front of the toilet. 

At 9:15 PM, CJ sat in a booth near the back of a pub called Harpoon's she and Danny liked to go too. It was dim and quiet and allowed them privacy due to the high backs of the booths. She had almost ordered a Grasshopper. Then she remembered the phone call about an hour ago from her doctor. It confirmed what she had suspected. 

She was going over in her mind how she would tell Danny the news. Just then, he slipped into the bench across from her. He reached out to her hand on the table and clasped it. This was unusual; they didn't flaunt their relationship when they were in public. She began saying, "Danny, I have something to tell you." But when she meet his eyes, she stopped talking. Tears were at the edge, ready to spill over onto his cheeks.

"Please, CJ, not tonight. If you're going to end our relationship, I would appreciate it if you could wait until next week." A few of his tears began their journey. "I just don't think I could handle another painful thing right now." CJ's fear and concern shifted instantly from herself to him. 

"What happened?" She asked.

"I got a call yesterday morning, my mom died." He choked out the last few words trying desperately to hold back more of the threatening tears. "I've been in Jersey making the arrangements, I meant to call you but I just didn't have time. I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad, I was worried." CJ stroked the back of his hand with her thumb trying to calm him. She made the decision that her news could wait a while, until he was through his grief so they could talk about things rationally. 

"Were you going to leave me?" He asked carefully.

"Absolutely not." She answered. He was always so confident, never shaken. Fears and anxiety were her department, not his. It was strange being the reassuring one.

"Than what was it you were going to say?" He asked while watching her thumb circle his knuckles. Her touch was soothing and it grounded him.

"Nothing, forget it. Your mother...what happened?" He took several deep breaths and seemed to gain some strength back.

"I don't want to talk about it just yet, maybe later. Right now," Danny looked into her eyes, "I just want to be with you." CJ's heart leaped, his charms always affected her. 

The waiter came and Danny ordered a burger, CJ a salad. Thankfully, they didn't drink often so it was normal for her to have a soda with dinner. But she convinced him to get a beer and she would drive home. After the waiter left Danny raised his eyebrows at her.

"One car? CJ are you trying to come on to me?" He tried teasing but it was half-hearted. She smiled at him anyway, realizing his need to lighten the conversation. 

"It's been so long that you have to ask?" She teased back.

"Well, there is this one sexy woman I know, but she's been busy lately..." He gave her a genuine smile as he trailed off. 

After they ate, he left his car and CJ drove them both toward her apartment. With all the stuff happening at work lately, she realized it had been about two, almost three weeks. That stopped her heart for a beat, it must have been the night they-

"CJ, the light's green now. You can go anytime you're ready." Danny looked at her, she was blushing. He figured it was embarrassment for daydreaming at a light. "Already fantasizing about me, aren't you?" He teased. 

She parked the car and they rode the elevator to the fifth floor and he opened the door to her apartment. She had been strangely quiet and the reporter in him began to pick up clues in her behavior. It was similar to when there was something going on in the Bartlet administration that she was trying to hide from him. Most people thought CJ lied to the press well. Maybe it was because he knew her so well, but he always could see through it. 

"You're hiding something." He declared. She jumped at his voice and looked up at him. He could see her masking the panic, he was right. 

"No." She stated.

"Give me some credit, I can tell when you're hiding something. What is it?"

"I told you before, it's nothing." CJ lied to him. He didn't fall for it.

"Now." He demanded. She shook her head. She had to get out of this, she wasn't ready to tell him and he wasn't ready to hear it yet.

"Why don't you tell me about your mother?" She shot back at him. His eyes were full of horror and pain. Just when he was starting to feel better. 'God, what am I doing?' She thought. 

She'd never been through loosing a loved one but she had experience being the support for someone who had. Both a college roommate and Josh, during the campaign, had depended on her in a time like this. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Danny further. 

"Or maybe neither of us talk and you go home." She said in a tender voice. 

"Is that what you really want?"

"No." She answered.

"Good." He sighed. "Because, I need you." 

She knew it was easier for both of them to say 'I love you.' For two independent people, needing someone else had never happened before they met each other. 

"I need you too," She confessed. He put his arms around her back and guided her body closer to his. They kissed for several minutes like teenagers on the couch. Then she sat back a little and began to undo the buttons on his dress shirt. He lifted her in his arms.

"Oh" She responded in surprise. He'd never carried her into the bedroom before. He deposited her on the bed then hopped up and landed on his back next to her. He spread his arms and legs out and declared, "Take me, I'm yours!" She giggled at him and they began kissing again. 

After an hour, CJ lay curled next to him. With her body shuddering and her mind perfectly clear of distraction, she thought of the tiny being inside her that they created a few weeks ago. It was a beautiful thought.

"Sleep now." She whispered as she smoothed back his hair and hugged him. 

"I love you." He said before succumbing to sleep. 

The next morning CJ opened her eyes at 7 AM. She realized where she was, wrapped in Danny's arms after a night of amazing sex. 'Life is good,' she thought. She bent her head back and kissed his lips. They curled into a smile and responded. Then, the alarm clock went off. He groaned and she rolled away from him to shut it off. 

"The thing's like kids running in and interrupting." He joked while rubbing his eyes. CJ panicked and at the same time her stomach twisted around, threatening to reveal her secret if she didn't get something to eat quickly. 

"Breakfast?" She asked. 

Over cold cereal at the kitchen table, they discussed the Cuba situation. Since he'd missed work the past two days, she told him there was a news conference scheduled this morning. He interrupted her, "I have a favor to ask, please come to the funeral with me this afternoon?" 

"Of course." She answered. He was looking at her in the way that threw her off balance and made it hard to concentrate.

"Thank you." He got up and kissed her cheek, "Now, I've got to shower." He headed down the hall, but sang over his shoulder, "what to join me?" 

When she arrived at 1600 Pennsylvania, she rushed to the ladies room and emptied her breakfast. She spent 10 minutes cleaning up, then headed to the informal, Saturday morning staff meeting. Fortunately, the Notre Dame game started at noon, so the President insisted on a short day. Toby confirmed she could release details on the Cuba situation to the press at her morning press conference. 

At the end of the meeting, she announced Danny's mother had died and she would be attending the service that afternoon. She told, not asked. Leo nodded and said, "CJ, take all the time with him you need." Toby scowled, but no one said anything more. 

The press conference with Navel officers from the pentagon went well. Being a Saturday usually helped with these things, the press were not especially fanatical. She finished up some paperwork and left the building by 11:30. At home, she changed, packed a few things, and ate some lunch. Danny picked her up around 1 wearing a dark suit. He put her bag in the trunk and held the door for her.

The drive was quiet, besides NPR playing low on the radio. She tried to have a conversation about Cuba, but he had vague responses. She attempted to joke with him, but he only gave her a weak smile. 

Finally, Danny turned the car into a large cemetery called St. Anne's and wound through the narrow roads. When he came to a one-story building he parked and cut the engine of the car. He sat. CJ took a deep breath, she was used to a teasing, fun-loving, sweet Danny. It eluted her how to handle a sad, fearful, tormented Danny. She reached across and took his hand. She squeezed it while searching for the right words.

He squeezed back and said, "Thanks." They got out of the car and walked inside. Only a handful of people came for the service. The White House had sent flowers, another bouquet was from Danny's paper and two more from people whose names she didn't know. After a short prayer service, the small group of mourners made their way to the gravesite. There, the casket was lowered into the ground and a final blessing said. People shook Danny's hand and tried to tell him comforting words but in reality, it didn't help. The priest shook his hand and left as well. 

Danny stood by himself, in front of the casket in the ground. His mom's tombstone next to his father's and his older brother's. The realization that she was gone, that his whole family was completely gone and he was alone in the world overcame him. It hurt, almost too much. Alone.

CJ had been standing off to the side silent to give him his time to grieve. But it distressed her to see him in so much pain. She couldn't stand it and she walked over to him to put a hand on his back as he wept. He felt the touch and breathed deep. He remembered he wasn't alone, CJ was there. 

"Danny, tell me about her." CJ figured if he started talking, if he got it all out, he might feel better. He knelt onto the grass.

"Come here." He invited her. She lowered herself to the ground along side him. It was cold out but the ground wasn't wet. He faced her with a distant look.

"I wish she had meet you before she died. I wish you had known my Dad, too." Danny sighed. "I know they would have really liked you. Your humor, intelligence, beauty, kindness, they would have adored you." He was quiet for several minutes, almost playing the scenes out in his mind.

"Plus, they would have seen how much you mean to me. They would have been happy about that too." Danny looked down into the grave again. "My brother gone in the car accident, now my folks gone. It's just hard not having a family anymore. I guess I'm finally seeing what my Mom warned me about the last few years. She was afraid I worked too much, that I let other things be...less important in my life. She was afraid when she was gone that I...She's right, CJ, life is lonely when you have no family."

"Danny..." CJ wasn't sure where to begin, she wanted to comfort him. She wanted to tell him that he would be having a family soon, but it still didn't seem like the right time to tell him. 

"You know you're not alone," she said, "in more ways than you even realize. I love you." She put her arms around him and they held each other for what seemed like hours. A shiver by CJ seemed to wake Danny's senses. 

"We'll freeze out here. Besides I want to show you something." He got up and offered her a hand. They got into the car and he wound through streets as daylight faded. After an hour, CJ was sleeping with her head against his shoulder. He turned off the main road onto a gravel driveway that twisted back through the trees to a cabin.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty," he whispered to her, "we're here." They went inside, Danny carrying their bags and he announced, "welcome to the family cabin." CJ turned to him to say something, but instead asked, "Bathroom?" He led her there and CJ lost what little was in her stomach. 'Second time in one day, this morning sickness stuff sucks,' she thought. When she was done, he handed her a wet cloth and a cup of mouthwash.

"Do you think you're getting the flu?" He asked.

"No." She replied before emptying the cup into her mouth and sloshing mouthwash around.

"Maybe you should see a doctor, you should lay down and I'll get you a blanket. God, I'm an idiot for keeping you on the cold ground for so long." Danny rambled on uneasily while searching the medicine cabinet for something. CJ spit out the mouthwash.

"Danny, I'm not sick." She snapped. Danny raised his voice, "You're too stubborn to let me take care of you when you're sick?" 

"I'm not sick, you idiot, I'm pregnant." She blurted out. Both stood frozen. He dropped the Tylenol bottle in his hands. His eyes were wide with shock and his mouth hung open mid-word. CJ's mind was twirling with anxiety. 

"Really? You're really-" Stumbled out of his mouth and she nodded. 

"Oh, my, you're pregnant." He said with wonder. "With my...it's mine." He wasn't asking her, just trying to comprehend it. But she nodded anyway. Danny's face broke into the brightest smile she'd ever seen. He began to laugh and cry at the same time, he lifted her off the ground with the intensity of his hug. He swung her around, "You're pregnant!" he yelled out. Then he lowered her to the ground, took her and waltzed her out of the bathroom, through the living room, around the couch and into the kitchen. He stopped and looked into her eyes with pure joy. CJ looked shocked, and Danny's smile dropped.

"You are... happy?" He asked cautiously.

"Yes of course, I'm just at little stunned at your reaction." She lowered her eyes. "It's not what I expected."

"You didn't think I'd be happy?" He asked painfully. "This is one of the best things that's ever happened to me, second only to you." 

"Plus, there are things to consider, my work, your work, they're not going to be happy." CJ tried to point out to him. "Being discrete about our relationship is going to get difficult soon. It's going to become very obvious." He laughed while looking down at her belly. 

"I can't wait." He said and shook his head in amazement, "I think your missing something here, you're looking at this the wrong way. CJ, we're going to have a baby, our baby. The rest will get worked out, we'll deal with it together. It's far less important than this." He got down on his knees and put his hands on the back of her thighs. He spoke right at her abdomen.

"Hello in there. We are so happy about you, little one." She put her hands in his hair as he continued, "We promise to love you and take care of you and teach you all we can. I want you to know that I love your-" He paused and looked up at her, as if something just made sense, then resumed talking to her belly, "mom. I love her and I trust her and need her. You are the luckiest baby in the world to have her as a mother." Warmth flooded CJ's heart as he spoke, his smile, his joy, it was beginning to dawn on her. Her eyes filled with tears, she didn't even want to try holding them back.

"Also," Danny's voice dropped to conspiracy level and he got a gleam in his eye, looking up at her a little as he spoke. "Don't pay any attention to what I'm about to do to your mother tonight. When you're older, she'll explain it to you." She laughed out loud at him. Now that she knew everything was OK between them and he was happy about the baby too, all she wanted to do was laugh and smile. 

"Thank you," she whispered. "A baby, Danny. We're going to have a baby." CJ's smile made his heart melt. He squeezed the backs of her legs and stood up to catch her mouth in a long, slow kiss. When they parted he said, "We'll work it out, please trust me."

"I do." She said. He smiled, "and keep practicing those words you just said." She was going to respond but he took her mouth again in a kiss. He took off her blazer and started to unbutton her blouse when he suddenly pulled back.

"Is this...um, I mean, is it OK for us to be doing this? It's not going to hurt you or the baby?" She leaned into him and spoke against his lips, "Danny, you did this last night and I was pregnant then too. It's fine." She kissed him on the lips, then on his jaw and neck, then added, "Besides, I'd kill you if you stopped." 

"Wait, you knew since yesterday and you didn't tell me?" 

"Danny, no it's not like that, I didn't even want to tell you now."

"Why?"

"Well, I guess it didn't seem appropriate. Plus, I hadn't yet figured out how to tell you. I've been a little afraid, I think."

"I love you." He said between kisses along her neck. "That doesn't change, no matter what you could say to me, or when or how you chose to say it." He told her and she nodded. He picked her up and set her down on the kitchen counter and kissed her. "I'm going to show you just how much I love you tonight." He whispered and lowered to his knees. 

Hours later in the bedroom, Danny's worn voice whispered in the dark, "Don't move." She was sprawled across his body. "I like you as a blanket." She kissed his chest and lay her head over his heart.

"You want to take a nap before dinner?" She asked him. 

"Um hum." He answered. Soon, his breathing was slow and even and she knew he was asleep. Moments and words from the past few days floated through her mind. "I'm pregnant. I trust you. My parents would have liked you. We are so happy about you, little one. I love you." Kisses, smiles, touches, she realized Danny was right, she hadn't been seeing things the right way. These images and words would be the things she would remember when she was old. She had not been following her sister's advice, to be strong and have the courage to love the man she wanted to be with no matter what. They had jobs, but the jobs weren't who they were. CJ drifted to sleep with a contented smile on her face.

Later that night Danny woke in a dark bedroom that he'd slept in growing up. Now, he lay with his arms around the woman he loved and their tiny child inside her. The beauty of it made him shiver. He kissed her neck then slipped out of bed. He pulled on his boxers and crept downstairs and through the kitchen. In a back room, he turned on a lamp. It illuminated his father's desk and small study. Against the wall Danny removed a painting and revealed a safe in the wall. He turned the wheel to open the door and pulled out papers and files. Finally, his hand closed around a small box, he removed it and replaced the papers, then closed and locked the safe. He climbed back up the stairs and put the box into his suitcase before sliding back under the blankets and curling his body around CJ again. He sighed and drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

 

**********

"Well I just heard the news today.

It seems my life is gonna change.

I closed my eyes, begin to pray

Then tears of joy stream down my face

With arms wide open

Under the starlight

Welcome to this place

I'll show you everything

With arms wide open

Well I don't know if I'm ready

To be the man I have to be

I'll take a breath, take her by my side

We stand in awe, we've created life"

-Creed

**********

Just in case you wanted to know, I'm working on chronicles III. Drop me e-mail if you have suggestions. Thanks for reading. �Jen

  


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